How to help your friends through hard things.

Life is messy. People are hurting – your friends, your family, your coworkers. Your neighbor down the street, or that person who sits in your pew at church. They may be fighting through depression, or anger. They may be fighting uncertainty about the future. One thing is certain: they’re fighting with something.

It could be an empty bank account. It could be a friend’s betrayal. It could be a family torn apart by sinfulness, or a home broken by natural disaster. It could be health problems. It could be loss of work – or loss of purpose. You name it.

You know someone struggling through something big.

But how can you help them? How do you know what to say, when they’re so desperately looking for answers? How do you know what hope to give them? What advice to share? Or when to just sit and listen?

It’s simple, really.

Be in the Word. Be in it every single day. Soak it up like a sponge, until you’re so saturated with it that it seeps out of you at every opportunity.

Know it so well, that it comes to mind unbidden. Know it, so you can share it easily. That means meditating on it. Thinking on it during every spare moment. Pondering it when you wake up, while you go through your day, and before you go to sleep at night. It means you don’t just read it and forget. You remember it. And hide it away in your heart.

Memorize the Word. Make it a daily or a weekly habit. Pick a chapter or a topic and start working on it today. Write it out. Post it around your house. Listen to it while you drive or go for a walk. Recite it while you take the dog out, or wash dishes, or fold laundry.

If you want to truly help others, you need to know God’s Word intimately. You need to be steeped in it. You need to read it faithfully during the easy times, so it will come to mind during the hard times – when that friend stands at the brink of disaster, when that coworker hits the crisis point, when that neighbor comes face-to-face with their mortality.

Be rooted in the Word before the hard times – so you can draw on its power and promises during the hard times. {<– tweet this}

So go read your Bible. Go pray over it. Go study it now, before the difficulties come. Go memorize it now, before your friend needs to hear it.


What’s the last thing you read in your Bible? Or what are you planning to read this week? 

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8 thoughts on “How to help your friends through hard things.

  1. This is so sad to say… I can’t remember the last thing I actually read in my Bible. I’m still working through the Charles Stanley study on the Holy Spirit and I am doing a read-through-the-Bible in a year and it is at Isaiah and since I just did an in-depth study on Isaiah, I’ve been skipping those readings. So, your question has convicted me of my sloth!

    1. So easy to do, Teresa! That’s why I’ve shied away from study books lately. They’re good, but sometimes they take the place of the Authority itself. On the other hand, they at least make you think about what the Word says, so they’re better than nothing at all!
      Thanks for your openness!

  2. So good. I do find that all the Bible study I did as a teen and young single woman is like a well that I draw from now…Not that I’m not in the Word now, but that time of saturation when I didn’t have the distractions of family laid such an amazing foundation. I have so many friends who are hurting deeply right now too. Thx for the encouragement!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Stephanie. Isn’t it wonderful to have that sure foundation, especially when the stormy seasons of life come around?

  3. Thank you so much for this challenge! I used to memorize scripture all of the time as a kid, but it’s been so difficult to keep up as an adult. I have been jumping around my Bible lately, but I find myself coming back to Philippians and Corinthians, and of course the Psalms.
    Blessings from

    1. Yes, memorizing is a lot harder as an adult! I try to work on it while I’m walking – exercise the mind & the body at the same time.
      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. Great reminder that we have to fill up before we can pour out! I’m going to be memorizing with the ladies over at Do No Depart this fall. First time I’ve done something like that.

    1. That’s great! Do you know what passage you’ll be working on?

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